On the 31st of December 2005, following an old tradition from Ivory Coast, i cut all of my hair off, and started wearing my mourning bracelet. It's incredible how those things help. People don't come to you with their bullshit when they know you're mourning. Later that night, I sat on the balcony and looked at the city wondering what kinda life i was gonna live.
A murdered friend, a pregnant friend dead too, her boyfriend (another one of my friends) comitting suicide because of her death = a LOT of funerals.
A country at war, a broken family, very little communication with other friends, almost no sleep = a LOT of stress.
So on that last day of the year, i fell asleep quite hopeless not knowing that :
In ...
... January : I would be allowed to write all the final exams i missed when i left in december
... February : I'd be hired by 2 hotels in 2 different cities at the same time.
... March : A couple of friends would decide to come live with me so i could have human presence (and good food) everytime i come back home
... April : My apple tree would finally start growin.. lol
... May : An ex boyfriend would re-appear and fight to get our friendship the way it was.
... June : It would be so hot in Montreal, the parties would never end, the boys would keep on making eye contact, and my cell phones memory would reach its maximum capacity (numbers, number, numbers !)
... July : I would start feeling comfortable at home with my family again, in Paris and Milan thanks to... the World Cup and all those great moments of joy !
... August : That dude from Harvard would call me to ask me if i was available for an interview.
... September : Becoming a tutor for freshmen would boost my motivation (and my sense of style too, for some reason!)
... October : It would be so damn cold i would be sick all the time, and my boss would refuse to let me go even though i had 6 classes at school [ I was just helping and wasn't exactly gettin' paid. Considering the kinda compensation i was getting (A LOT of free goodies), i am very not complaining, and i am so not going back to wrking full time either... lol ]
... November : " An almost-comittment " would become a very " non-stressful " relationship, and i would find my sexual match on this planet.
... December : I would realize that all the unnecessary people in my life had been either politely asked out of my life or well... violently kicked out. LOL And with them, left all the unnecessary problems, came space and light.
Today, i'm exhausted but i'm happy.
As i'm sittin on my bed, with so much hair on my head it's ridiculous and wearing no damn bracelet, tryin to decide if i'm going with the black shirt or the black sweater, im not really wondering what 2007 is gonna be like.
Every second, i do all i can to make sure the next will bring as much (if not more joy), so... March, February, Thanksgiving, Monday, or Sunday, it doesnt really matter.
All i know is that i deserve happiness and i will get it !
Happy New Year my fellow bloggers/readers !
A murdered friend, a pregnant friend dead too, her boyfriend (another one of my friends) comitting suicide because of her death = a LOT of funerals.
A country at war, a broken family, very little communication with other friends, almost no sleep = a LOT of stress.
So on that last day of the year, i fell asleep quite hopeless not knowing that :
In ...
... January : I would be allowed to write all the final exams i missed when i left in december
... February : I'd be hired by 2 hotels in 2 different cities at the same time.
... March : A couple of friends would decide to come live with me so i could have human presence (and good food) everytime i come back home
... April : My apple tree would finally start growin.. lol
... May : An ex boyfriend would re-appear and fight to get our friendship the way it was.
... June : It would be so hot in Montreal, the parties would never end, the boys would keep on making eye contact, and my cell phones memory would reach its maximum capacity (numbers, number, numbers !)
... July : I would start feeling comfortable at home with my family again, in Paris and Milan thanks to... the World Cup and all those great moments of joy !
... August : That dude from Harvard would call me to ask me if i was available for an interview.
... September : Becoming a tutor for freshmen would boost my motivation (and my sense of style too, for some reason!)
... October : It would be so damn cold i would be sick all the time, and my boss would refuse to let me go even though i had 6 classes at school [ I was just helping and wasn't exactly gettin' paid. Considering the kinda compensation i was getting (A LOT of free goodies), i am very not complaining, and i am so not going back to wrking full time either... lol ]
... November : " An almost-comittment " would become a very " non-stressful " relationship, and i would find my sexual match on this planet.
... December : I would realize that all the unnecessary people in my life had been either politely asked out of my life or well... violently kicked out. LOL And with them, left all the unnecessary problems, came space and light.
Today, i'm exhausted but i'm happy.
As i'm sittin on my bed, with so much hair on my head it's ridiculous and wearing no damn bracelet, tryin to decide if i'm going with the black shirt or the black sweater, im not really wondering what 2007 is gonna be like.
Every second, i do all i can to make sure the next will bring as much (if not more joy), so... March, February, Thanksgiving, Monday, or Sunday, it doesnt really matter.
All i know is that i deserve happiness and i will get it !
Happy New Year my fellow bloggers/readers !
posted by Soldier at 7:50 p.m.
4 Comments:
happy, happy, happy new year, friend. your post was so inspiring. (and i'd love to think that i had a little something to do with the mood you used to write it). there's nothing better than to focus/to keep attention on all of the positives that life brings us. glory be.
reg.
Hey...you've gone through a lot this past year. It's good that you broke it down into chronological pieces. And happy is happy...whether exhausted or energetic, so I'm happy you're happy.
I look forward to hearing more about your journey in 2007.
Thanks for being who you are.
E
Wow, You've had quite the year my dude! I'm glad you have hair to enter 2007! Hope things keep point up for you....
this was a very well written, heartfelt post. I truly appreciate it. Wishing you only the best.
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